• Desperate to do anything to win his bet with Jeter and Abreu, Hideki Matsui has apparently married a sketch of a woman. Stranger still is this advice from Japanese Chief Cabinet Secretary Nobutaka Machimura: “…I would advise him to keep both eyes open before the marriage and afterwards keep one shut.”

No word yet on how this will affect Matsui’s swing.

• When Hank Steinbrenner says, “It seems like in this country nowadays anybody can make an accusation against anybody, and it’s all over the country all of a sudden,” is he referring to himself?

• And, in a ritual that has become as predictable as Opening Day itself, Michael Kay has once again picked the Yankees to win the World Series. It’s not that he’s a homer or anything like that. It just so happens that he honestly believes the Yanks have the best team every single year. Right?