Joe Girardi says that he was ‘fortunate enough’ to be able to watch and study the Yanks in 07. But fortune had nothing to do with it. Turning down any number of managerial jobs and positioning himself in the YES booth, on the chance that Torre might go down was shrewd tactical planning on his part. Involving the Dodgers over the weekend to solidify his value was equally brilliant.

So let’s just be honest, Girardi had been gunning for this job since day one. Is there anything wrong with that? Not really. But combine his intensity and checkered past with Hank’s newly discovered mouth, and we could have the makings of Steinbrenner / Martin 2. Can’t wait.

Oh, and by the way, no one in Yankeeland will say this but Mattingly never had a chance. The poor guy had no idea who he was up against.

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1. They said it was just another case of Manny being Manny. But when his team was down 3-1 against Cleveland and Ramirez declared that it didn’t really matter if the Sox won or lost, he unwittingly put the dagger in the Yanks’ ‘win or else’ mentality. Could you ever envision this current Yankee team coming back from a 3-1 deficit?

2. Hank Steinbrenner’s inane ‘Yankee Universe’ vs. ‘Red Sox Nation’ comments, while not nearly as offensive as the Boras / A-Rod stuff, still sounded a lot like the whining of a jealous older brother. Anyhow, since coming up with that horribly trite moniker a few years back, the Yanks seem to have been sucked into a post-season black hole.

3. Maybe you clapped for him this year but you never really liked A-Rod. You never accepted him as a real Yankee. Just admit it. So don’t act so offended that he opted out. Spare us. At the end of the day (or should we say, the contract) he was just another hired hand - a Kevin Brown or Randy Johnson.

4. Hank, you idiot. You have so much to learn. You only want players that dream all their lives of playing for the Yankees? Here’s a tip: Just pay them what they want and they’ll tell you how much they’ve always wanted to be Yankees. We guarantee it. You think it is such a privilege to play for your dad’s team? You’ve been watching too many Yankeeographies. Pay the kids what they want and shut your mouth. You sound like a smug, old fool.

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After 12 years of history-making service, Torre turns down a bizarre ‘performance-based’ contract. Apparently Joe didn’t have enough incentive to win and needed a carrot dangled in front of him.

Okay. Maybe the Yankee brass is on to something. Now they can begin to experiment with their theory by trying out a ‘performance-based’ system on the next guy.

Here are some suggestions on how to get the most out of the next manager. How about paying him only when the Yanks win? Or how about subtracting from his paycheck each time the Yankees lose? Here’s an idea - only pay the guy if the Yanks win it all. Fire him if they don’t. Repeat as necessary.

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1. Joe Torre’s fate is weighing so heavily upon The Captain that it is beginning to take its toll. Read this telling passage from the NY Post:

Jeter was spotted acting equally detached later that night at Set, where he was “surrounded by throngs of women five rows deep. He was hanging with a guy friend, though, and didn’t seem to take much interest in the hordes of ladies.”

Not even ‘throngs of women’ can bring Jeter out of his despair! He’s ‘detached’, disinterested. Do something George! We’re losing him….

2. Now that there is parity (and boredom) in playoff baseball, can YES start to offer some post-elimination programming? Call it “Torre Watch ‘07″, or something like that - a primetime Yankee reality show that covers all the drama and dread of post-elimination Bomber baseball. Topics could include: Suzyn Waldman crying, Jeter’s depressed nightclubbing, Tampa meetings, and A-Rod and Boras at Disneyland.

3. Mattingly’s ‘I don’t want Joe to go but if he does I’d love to take the job’ act is already wearing thin. This poorly managed media debacle should automatically eliminate him from managerial considerations.

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That’s right. Fire him. Fire him now (not next week), just as you said you would. Not because it is the right thing to do. Not because it is the wrong thing to do. Fire him now because if you don’t, your word will mean nothing. And the leader of the self-proclaimed ‘most successful franchise in the history of sports’ will be reduced to a mere figurehead.

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In direct response to naysayers and critics, Alex Rodriguez hit a solo homerun (”an A-Bomb - From A-Rod!”) off Indian reliever Rafael Perez in the seventh inning of last night’s game, ending a streak of 57 consecutive postseason at-bats without an RBI (dating back to 2004).

Unfortunately for the Yanks, they went on to lose the game (6-4) and the series to the Cleveland Indians - prematurely derailing A-Rod’s Yankeeography Moment.

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Torre’s job is on the line if the Yanks don’t win? Why? After all the other Torre blunders and playoff losses, Steinbrenner wants to suddenly hold him accountable? We don’t believe it. We’ve all seen “The Bronx Is Burning”. This is just a pathetic attempt to rally the troops. We’re not buying it.

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Joba says “No excuses” so don’t blame his meltdown on the bugs. Every other pitcher dealt with the swarm. Joba choked. Yankees lose. No excuses.

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1. Don’t start with the ‘fire Torre‘ talk. Even after he inexplicably gave the game away with Ross Ohlendorf. Everyone saw him bring in Weaver against the Marlins. Everyone knows the way he manages the bullpen in the playoffs. Everyone knows the way he can pile up wins during the regular season. So win or lose, spare us from the annual drama that never amounts to anything anyway.

2. Torre and the YES-men like David Justice will tell you a loss is a loss. But the way the Indians clobbered the Yanks’ best pitcher has to give the Tribe a psychological boost. Postseason nerves? None. Inability to defeat the Yankees in ‘07? Gone. An opening loss could have really destroyed the Indians. Now they are confident and dangerous.

3. Michael Kay wiping his nose with his hand is not our idea of complete post-game coverage on YES. That, coupled with his nasal, congested voice, was enough to make us wish for anything else baseball related: spitting, crotch grabbing, Bobby Abreu sticking the end of his bat up against his nether regions. Hell, show the damn squirrel. Sorry, but we just aren’t that desperate to hear Kay’s opinions. As Kay himself would put it, “We’re just not”.

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Don’t hate Jeter because of his latest fling (Gabrielle Union). Hate the media for its annual October Jeter lovefest, like this tripe from cheerleader Kevin Kernan in today’s Post:

Jeter’s greatest strength cannot be measured by numbers. He has the look and feel of a winner.

Are you kidding? By this logic, Jeter would look like a winner on the Kansas City Royals. If you can’t measure a player by his numbers, then you certainly can’t measure him by his ‘look and feel’.

The problem for cheerleaders like Kernan is that they have taken on the difficult task of turning a very good (and arguably great) player into a legend. When the statistics don’t quite add up, the hyperbole begins.

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